Today marks two years since I moved to England.

It has been a huge journey, with a lot of ups and downs. Last year, I wrote an honest and very difficult post about most of the downs. You can go ahead and read about my 15 Harsh Truths About Living In England. But this year, I wanted to share something a bit different on this big anniversary.

The reality is that when I wrote that post last year, I was in a pretty bad place. I was struggling in just about every way: I was constantly getting rejected from jobs, working jobs I hated, stressing about money every single day, so homesick and missing my family, everything. This year, I’m in a much better place. There have been a lot more ups and downs in the year, but I don’t think the downs I’ve experienced are anything I haven’t talked about already.

So I wanted to share a post that’s been a long time coming today! A post all about British culture, and what I’ve found to be most different and unique living here. So here you go: what I’ve learned about British culture after 2 years living in England!

Brits put x’s at the end of everything.

When I first moved to Nottingham five years ago, I hung out a lot with a (British) friend who lived in London. He always put x’s at the end of his messages and texts. I was so confused about it, I literally never put x’s back, ever. I just couldn’t. I didn’t get it. Was it meant to be flirty? Was it just normal? What is this?! Well. An “x” or “xx” or “xxx” or “xxxxxxxxxxx” at the end of a message, text, email, card, or any written form of communication is common and is just the norm. It’s not flirting, it’s not meant to be especially kind or meaningful, it’s just the way they do things! This is something I’ve tried to adapt to. But generally, I only put x’s at the end if someone else (the British person) has done it first!

Everyone communicates on Facebook instead of texting/calling.

When I got a new phone in July, I was worried about losing a bunch of numbers. Only to realize I barely had anyone’s phone numbers in my phone! Besides my various in-laws, my dentist/bank/doctor/, I only had about 4 or 5 friends’ actual numbers!! That’s not because I’m a loser and have no friends (I do, I promise!), but because everyone here communicates on Facebook. For all of my friends in England, I generally use Facebook (Messenger) to talk to them, because that’s what literally everyone uses! It’s rare to actually text or call someone on their phone number. Facebook is definitely the go-to.

People can be unbelievably fake.

In general, British people hate being direct, and they hate confrontation. They are extremely polite, and really don’t like to rock the boat. They don’t like to say what they think or how they feel. They can be unbelievably passive-aggressive, and sometimes it feels like a maze to get a real direct answer to a sensitive topic. They are also some of the fakest people I have ever encountered. People who hate you will come up to you with the biggest smile on their face and nicely ask you how you’re doing. It’s awful and so not who I am as a person. Trying to toe the line of social niceties with the fakest of the fakes is one of the hardest things for me living in the UK.

The obsession with tea is real—and there are right ways and wrong ways to make tea.

It’s a common joke that Brits love their tea. Well, it’s the honest truth: British people are absolutely obsessed with tea. They all drink tea literally all the time. Despite how unhealthy high amounts of caffeine from black tea is, people will have multiple cups of tea, every single day. And there are right ways and wrong ways of making tea. Everyone will take it differently, some people will take sugar, but almost everyone will have milk in their tea. And you shouldn’t put too much milk in. There’s literally a Facebook page called “Rate My Tea” where people post pictures of their tea and you can rate it! And making someone a cup of tea is something you can do in literally every situation ever.

Queuing is a way of life.

British people do in fact love waiting in lines. It is so stereotypically British, but people here are really good at forming lines, waiting in lines, complaining about waiting in lines, etc. It’s so easy working a customer service job because all you have to do is say, “who’s next please!” and everyone will just sort themselves out. And if anyone does cut the queue (god forbid), Brits obviously won’t say anything confrontational. But they will certainly tut and make loud passive aggressive comments to the people around them in earshot of the queue-jumper.

Good weather changes absolutely everything in the country.

The first hint of sunshine or warm temperatures, and all of England goes outside. They especially flock to beer gardens, to enjoy a pint in the nice weather. Everyone’s spirits lift, attitudes change, and everything seems a bit different—in a good way. While weather in the UK is notoriously awful, the nice thing is that people here really know how to celebrate and enjoy good weather!

“Are you alright?” is a catchall phrase for all interactions with other people.

Sometimes they shorten it to just, “you alright?” But British people use this phrase for a million and one social interactions. Instead of saying, “how are you?” “what’s wrong?” “can I help you?” “what’s up?” or “do you mind fucking off?” they use “are you alright?” for all of these things. It can be very confusing trying to distinguish which questions they’re actually asking!

Case in point: the first time I was in Ireland (not England I know, but they do the same thing), and I went to a café for a sandwich. The girl behind the counter asked me, “you alright?” and I was so taken aback and didn’t understand why she was asking me that. After I said, “yeah I’m fine thanks,” she then promptly ignored me and moved onto the next customer. I had to wait through a queue of a few people until I could actually order. I didn’t realize that she was asking, “can I help you?” instead!!

“Cheers” is another catchall phrase that can used when drinking, or it can mean “thanks,” or “fuck off” depending on the tone.

You’ve been warned.

The country is obsessed with gin.

Yes, Brits love their (warm, room-temperature) beer. Yes, they love their wine. Yes, they love rum and whiskey and vodka and all the other liquors. But they LOVE gin. I’m not a gin fan myself, and don’t really drink it. But based on the wide variety of people I’ve encountered in bars, and the fact that lots of places have specific gin menus, British people are absolutely obsessed with gin. If I hear “gin and tonic” one more time…

The pub is everything.

Having a “local,” or a pub nearby where you’re a frequent customer, is quite possibly the most important thing to do if you’re living here. The pub is life. Everything happens there. You can drown your sorrows, celebrate the positives, and simply hang out. It’s where secrets are spilled, friendships are formed, and for many people, it’s a place you can go and relax. Most people will have a pub “where everyone knows your name” like in Cheers—it’s just the way things are! With four pubs within easy walking distance to my house, it was a tough call to choose which one would be my local. I did certainly pick well though! I should also say, ‘Spoons is life.

Also, the drinking culture is huge in the UK. Brits are stereotyped as massive drinkers (I can guarantee there will be a group of British lads at an airport bar somewhere in the world absolutely hammered as you read this). And while they might not be the heaviest drinkers in the world (I think that title currently belongs to Belarus?), drinking is a huge part of society. Most things revolve around the pub, going for a pint, nights out, and consuming copious amounts of alcohol. It’s not necessarily a bad thing—but when you walk past piles of puke most mornings on your way to work, it can get annoying.

“Asian” is a much broader term.

When most people I know use the term “Asian,” they are typically describing someone of Chinese, Japanese, or maybe Korean ethnicity. In the UK, “Asian” has a much larger scope—it frequently includes South Asian populations as well. There are large vibrant ethnic communities and populations of Indian and Pakistani people living in the UK (remember, tikka masala was invented in Glasgow!). Those nationalities and ethnicities can often fall under the “Asian” umbrella as well.

“Murder an Indian” is not (necessarily) a racist hate crime.

Trying to decipher the British language is a task that’s constantly challenging me. The first time Adam said, “oh, I could just murder an Indian right now!” I was absolutely shocked. I immediately told him off, that his language was completely inappropriate, and to never say anything that racist to me ever again. Well, Brits sometimes use the verb “murder” to mean “voraciously eat,” and sometimes they won’t necessarily specify the noun after an ethnic adjective. So wanting to “murder an Indian” (in this situation!!) really just means wanting to “devour Indian food.”

The accents are incredibly diverse.

No matter how many times I say it, one of the biggest shockers for me since moving to England has been discovering just how regional and varied accents are. There is no one British accent. There are hundreds (thousands?) of them, and they are incredibly specific! People from the South sound nothing like people from the North (I mercilessly tease one of my Southern friends about saying “caaaaaastle” and “baaaaaath” whenever the occasion arises). Scousers and Brummies sound nothing alike, and Geordies sound like they’re speaking a different language altogether.

Adam and I once met a guy in Montenegro, and within 5 minutes of chatting to him, Adam whispers, “he’s from about 10 minutes away from me.” How could he tell? Because of this guy’s accent!!! People can find out what exact town you’re from just listening to you talk. It is absolutely fascinating, as difficult as it can be to understand as a foreigner.

And don’t even get me the regional words people use. For instance, to describe a sandwich, you could use cob, sarnie, bap, butty, or a multitude of other words—depending on where you’re from. People up north will shorten thanks to “ta.” People from Yorkshire frequently forget to use the word “the,” and think there’s “nowt” (nothing) wrong with that. It’s a crazy place to live.

Points hacking is an American thing.

Maybe this is stupid, but I didn’t realize that points hacking, accumulating credit card points, scoring travel deals, etc. is really more of an American thing. It’s not available in every country. For example, I still have my beloved Chase Sapphire Preferred credit card. But there is no equivalent of this card in the UK (as far as I’m aware)—the closest you can get is the British Airways American Express credit card. The entire phenomenon around points hacking is really just for Americans who can apply for all those credit cards in the first place.

The “American Dream” is just that—American.

My greatest realization is that the “American Dream” doesn’t exist here. In the US, we’re told from a very young age that we can do anything, that as long as we work hard, put in the long hours, pay our dues, we can achieve anything. If you work hard enough, you can achieve your goals. Americans are incredibly hard-working. That’s simply not the way things are in England.

The work ethic is extremely different from what I’m used to. I’m not trying to say all British people are lazy, and I’m certainly not trying to say my co-workers aren’t good at their jobs! But the attitude to work is very different. In some ways, it seems like (some) people in England expect to get paid for turning up to work, as opposed to actually working. It seemed to me that people are perhaps a bit less driven to do great work. Because they’re not told from birth that if you can do that great work, keep your head down, work every shift possible etc., you can get whatever you want (usually money or material possessions like a big house, nice car, etc.).

I have been praised about a thousand times over for my customer service skills. I have always gone above and beyond, and part of that is the fact that I’m American, and we have a different standard of service where I’m from. (And also because I made most of my money from tips, and so exceptional service is just natural to me!)

There is also a huge disparity in the welfare/benefits system in this country. It is very important and fundamental to society, and I don’t mean to suggest otherwise by saying this. I’m happy to pay my taxes so that people who need help can get help—even though I’m barred from accessing that system if I ever need it due to the terms of my visa. And I know there are these issues in the US with the system as well. But for some people, living “off the system,” or living off benefits, is a lifestyle. Sometimes, people can make more money not having a job, than working a minimum wage job. Sometimes that becomes a lifestyle.

Adam has encountered people who are third or fourth-generation unemployed: their parents don’t work, their grandparents don’t work, no one in their family has ever held a job or worked. And that is so opposite to everything I think of when I think of Americans. Americans will work four shitty jobs, and all hours under the sun in order to provide. Yes, there will still be people who “scam the system” in the US and don’t work. No, they shouldn’t have to do all that just to survive. Maybe this is just a difference in the welfare/benefits system between the two countries.

But not having a job and not working is simply diametrically opposed to the values most Americans cherish. The difference in work ethic and motivation and drive was something I never really thought of. But it does just go to show that the “American Dream” is just that—American.

Football is holy.

England is home to some of the most popular football (soccer) teams in the world. England is also home to some of the most passionate football fans you could ever find. It is simply a way of life. It’s the reason to drink profusely before 8am, and to violently riot if your team loses. It’s the reason to laugh and to cry, to swear at TV screens across the country, it’s the reason to cheer and sing and ride the wave of sports emotions. People who have a team they support—well, they support that team. The loyalty Brits have to their football team is incredible.

Football also brings everyone together (generally at the pub). Nothing showcased this better than the World Cup this summer! England made it to the semi-finals and the entire country could talk of nothing else. “It’s coming home” echoed from every corner of the country. During the games, pubs were packed to capacity and the streets were completely empty. My work even brought in a TV so that we could watch the game (on mute) during a slow Saturday shift (obviously no one called, as literally everyone was watching the game). Football is a different beast in the UK than I’ve ever encountered anywhere else in the world.

There are betting shops everywhere.

Want to place a bet and gamble? Well, you’ve got a lot more options than the lottery or a casino. Betting shops are pretty ubiquitous in every town I’ve been to throughout Britain. I don’t know how exactly they do so much business to all stay open (I’ve never seen one with more than three people in at a time!), but they are honestly everywhere. Betting on football (and sports in general) plays a huge part in the accessibility of betting shops though!

The English (St. George’s) flag is kind of racist.

I didn’t really understand this until I moved and started caring more about UK politics. But the flag of England is actually kind of racist. Not to the same extent as the Confederate flag in the US, but it’s a symbol for a lot of white-supremacist and right-wing groups here. Obviously not everyone with this flag is a racist! But the same people who fly St. George’s flag tend to be the people who view Britain/England as the center of the world, who have very narrow minds, who don’t like immigrants or non-British people… you get the idea. The exception to this is on St. George’s Day (April 23) where this flag is flown high with pride, and during any international football-related match or event. You’ll see the flag flying high everywhere, and if it’s football, the flag will be at all the pubs and even attached to cars! Some Brits might disagree with me on this one—but it is the honest truth as to how it appears to an outsider in the current (xenophobic) political climate in England.

No one actually uses the red phone boxes.

Red phone boxes are perhaps one of the most enduring symbols of Britain around the world. The truth? No one uses them. Especially now with the advent of cellphones—almost every single person has a phone now. Those classic red phone boxes smell like piss, and that’s just about the only thing a person does in them.

British humor is a league of its own.

Brits love to self-deprecate, and stereotypical British humor tends to be that kind that makes you feel uncomfortable. The humor can be dry and very dark, they’ll be sarcastic and self-deprecating. It’s just the way it is. One of the best examples of this would have to be the show Peep Show—it is hilarious and awkward and so stereotypically British and I love it! Don’t be put off at first by people making jokes that aren’t necessarily your style of humor—it’s probably just a different kind of humor than you’re used to.

There you have it! Living in another country is an experience like nothing else. There is so much to learn and discover about another culture. Living in England for the past two years has had a lot of lows, and a lot of highs. It’s been a whirlwind, and I’ve gained so much. Thank you to everyone who has supported me in the past two years!

These are my reflections on what I’ve learned about British culture after two years living in England. I hope you’ve learned something new or thought about a different aspect of life in Britain!

Check out my other posts on life abroad!

15 Harsh Truths About Living In England

3 Years Of Living In England: The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly

What I Wish I Knew Before I Moved Abroad

13 Tips For Surviving Life Abroad

The Stuff No One Talks About When You Go Abroad: Birth Control, Student Loans, And More

12 Things Every European NEEDS To Know About America

12 Things Every American NEEDS To Know About Europe

Have you ever lived abroad in the UK or another country, and what cultural differences did you find?! Share your thoughts in the comments below!

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