This one has been a long time coming. But I thought it was about time to sit down and write it.

I am fortunate enough to have found the man of my dreams, married him, and get to live with him. That is something I never take for granted—Adam is literally the best part of my world. But I think it’s about time to lay something flat out on the table. I love Adam, and I love traveling with him—but I still LOVE to travel solo.

I grew my solo travel roots long before I got together with Adam. I loved the independence of jetting off to a new city or a new country, and getting to explore whatever and however I wanted to. Whether I was jetting off to Latvia for the weekend, exploring the south of England, visiting Ireland or Edinburgh or Amsterdam—I really fell for solo travel in fall and winter 2013. That was before Adam and I got together, and since we got together, I’ve still traveled solo (and he has too!).

Adam and I try our best to plan out our lives, our holidays, our trips, our time off work, etc., in order to travel together as much as possible. As soon as I got my new job last year, we sat down and counted every single day of holidays I’d have in 2019 and planned out all of our trips from there. We do our best to plan our lives so that we can travel together. But sometimes we want to do other things. Sometimes one of us has more time off work or more money than the other person, sometimes one of us wants to hike Everest Base Camp (and one of us doesn’t, and that is definitely me), sometimes it’ll just work out to go away on our own.

Last year, I spent a wonderful long weekend in Belgium, re-discovering my solo travel roots and eating and drinking all the waffles, frites, beer, and chocolate. Adam was in Nepal for that whole trip! I also had a random week off work in November, and so I found cheap flights and went to Gdansk for a few days. Those trips were so much fun, and I had the best time. Even though I was on my own, and even though I’m married.

I honestly just really love traveling solo. I love the exhilarating feeling you get when you get on the right bus and get to your destination all on your own. I love the independence of doing whatever I feel like doing. I love spending loads of time taking photos of stuff without anyone telling me to hurry up. I love waking up whenever I want, eating whenever I want, and just in general doing anything I feel like.

When you travel solo, there’s no one to judge you. Not that Adam ever judges me (anymore!)—but when you’re on your own, there’s no holding back. Why not eat ice cream twice a day for a week? Why not get day drunk off delicious Belgian beer for an afternoon? Why not pig out on food, splash out on souvenirs, and wander off down an intriguing side street? There’s no one there to tell you no!!! I ate like a pig in Belgium, and there was no one who knew about it or judged me (well, I did judge myself a little if I had multiple waffles a day).

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE traveling with Mr. Away With Maja and sharing those experiences together. I’ll never forget watching the sunset together with beautiful pink clouds over the mountains on our last day in Iceland. Travel can be so meaningful when you have someone to share those memories with. But it’s just as meaningful, in a bit of a different way, when you travel solo.

I’m reminded of just how smart, strong, capable, and independent I am. When you’re on your own, there’s no one there to take the lead. You need to buy the right train tickets, ask for directions in a foreign language, decide where to eat, navigate foreign cities and foreign infrastructure, and get yourself from Point A to Point B. Those small victories are such an amazing feeling, when you catch the right bus or order the food you wanted. It reminds me of just how smart and strong I am, and how I really can do anything I put my mind to.

Loving solo travel doesn’t mean I don’t love Adam—they’re not mutually exclusive. You can love solo travel and a partner/spouse/person as much as anything. I’m not going to lie, I loved meeting guys when I went off on my solo trips when I was single. The thrill of meeting someone new and exciting who is different to you in a new city or a foreign country, where you have no commitments and no one around to judge you—that was fun. SO MUCH FUN.

But you don’t have to travel solo just because it’s a great way to meet guys. You can travel solo just because you like it. And I love traveling solo—just like I did before I got married, and before Adam and I got together.

Solo trips are an important part of our relationship. Adam and I love the trips we take and the time we get to travel together. But we also fiercely love our independence. Due to our different work schedules, we’ll probably each have one solo trip per year. As Adam is a teacher, he gets loads of time off—but only during the school holidays, of course. I get much more limited time off, but there will be times when I have days or a week off where Adam can’t take time off. As we grow in our careers, we’ll be making the most of our schedules and that will involve traveling solo. Last year, I went to Belgium and Gdansk on my own (with a short day in Helsinki and a night in Tallinn); Adam went to Nepal. This year, he’s already been to Bologna in Italy on his own. I’ll almost certainly go somewhere at the end of the year (November or December), when I’ll have a week off of work. Our time traveling solo is important for us to breathe, explore, and enjoy that independence that we both love. Regardless of whether we’re married, we both just enjoy it.

I knew Adam was the one for me because he loved my independence, my confidence, and my ability to go out in the world and explore. All those things that for so long, other guys had been intimidated by and sometimes jealous of. Those were the qualities that I admired most about myself, and what Adam loved most about me.

After we got together on our trip to Poland in April 2014, Adam went back to the UK. I spent the next ~3 weeks traveling around Europe. I only had enough money on my pay-as-you-go phone to send Adam one text per day (this was before I blogged, took my laptop when I traveled, or had a smartphone). Adam would always text back right away, with loads of questions to try to entice me to answer back (I couldn’t but only because I was rationing £3 over 3 weeks!). He thought that what I was doing was so cool—and that’s why I knew he was the one for me. The things I loved most about myself, were what he loved most about me.

So many of my newer friends were so surprised that I was going to Belgium by myself last year. But I’ve been all over Europe on my own, including spending two weeks in Russia. So it’s something I’m comfortable with, and it’s something I love. And while my older friends (generally) know me separate from my relationship with Adam, a lot of my newer friends don’t. Since I’ve been with Adam since I’ve been in the UK, not everyone knows my backstory. They don’t know my solo travel roots. And that’s okay! But it’s also just interesting for me to see the differences between my groups of friends.

People seem to think that you can’t travel alone once you’re married. That solo travel fades away as soon as someone puts a ring on it. Well, I don’t wear a ring, and neither does my husband! But regardless, I still choose to travel solo, even though I happen to be married. And I still love it.

Because even when you love your partner, even when you’re married, even when you love to travel together, it’s still a wonderful feeling to run and travel solo by yourself.

Do you like to travel solo? What do you enjoy most about it?

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